Roger Federer has the worst luck with the French Open. He is caught between losing it to Nadal, or potentially, losing it to the man who eliminated Nadal. Last weekend, he must have breathed a huge sigh of relief when Robin Soderling (like, who?) defeated Rafael Nadal in the fourth round. This weekend, he’s up against the very same Soderling in the final. In addition to that, he’s up against the challenge of tying Pete Sampras’s 14 Grand Slam wins. Talk about pressure, eh?!
We can only hope that this match yields tears of joy of Roger.
Last night, Bill Moyers aired a gripping one hour show on the tactics we’ve been using as a nation. He featured a documentary film called “Torturing Democracy.” It contained interviewed with civilian and military lawyers, and showed segments on torture that were re-enactments of descriptions from declassified documents. Let me say, I’m sure it’s the tamer stuff that has been declassified, and yet it’s disturbing. I’d say that I don’t want to know what else we’ve done…but if it’s been done in our name, for our safety, with our own money, then we have duty to know. We owe it to ourselves to know who we, as a nation, are.
You can watch the documentary film online. And one final note: it really should have been called “Torturing Humanity,” because an inanimate construct couldn’t care less if it’s being tortured. But humanity, humanity is very much an animate construct. And it’s time we got close to the uncomfortable truth: we are torturing people, and in the process, we are torturing our humanity out of existence. No amount of voting in free elections can make up for that. Democracy will recover a hell of a lot faster than souls…ours and theirs.
It’s time to say good-bye to my RSS reader. I know, that sounds like such a huge step backwards.
The thing is, while the RSS reader was supposed to increase efficiency in reading the blogs I like, it did the opposite. I ended up cluttering it up with a million blogs I don’t read all that often…and the primary reason for not reading them all that often is the blandness of the reader. Everything is all white in there, there are no visually distinguishing features between one blog and another, and this makes it way too boring for a visual person like myself. It also increases the strain on my brain: I have to make an effort to remember whose blog I am reading, and sometimes some people’s writing styles are so similar that I end up severely confused. In addition to all of that, it’s made me a horrible commenter: I read in the reader, and then keep reading down to the next post, and on and on and on…never managing to click on very many posts to comment on what I’ve read.
So, in a nutshell, RSS readers a) are bland; b) make bloggers sound the same in tone; and c) discourage me from being a sociable blogger. Oh, and the unread count (because I’ve been avoiding the reader due to those complications) is staggering, and every day it gets higher. The higher I know it’s getting, the more I stay away; the more I stay away, the less I read; the less I read, the less I even think about blogging on my own blog. This is one vicious circle called Technology Fail!
Hence, welcome, all of you, back into my world of bookmarks. Because Allah Knows, a girl can never have too many of those!
Oh my God, look! It’s a ten eight page article on Bill Clinton. I guess the New York Times needed to a) fill up space, and b) get the salesnumbers up or something. Because what sells faster than a Clinton piece? Well, an Obama or a Princess Diana piece might…but only barely. The article starts off by following Mr. Clinton on a trip through Lima, Peru, while he is shopping for souvenirs for family and friends, and I particularly liked this couple of sentences:
Clinton selected one he thought would be great for his friend, Frank Giustra, the Canadian mining mogul, to give to Giustra’s girlfriend. Clinton said he likes picking out gifts for his friends’ wives and girlfriends.
Wink, wink; nudge, nudge. Clinton…women…get it?! Of course you get it. And if you don’t, you’re probably way too young, or completely out of the loop when it comes to American political drama.
If you’re interested in the dynamics of a former President living life while his First Lady is heading up the State Department, this article has a few insights. So you can read on without any further mention of Clintonian tendencies to inadvertently charm women.
All Arab men beat their women.
Oh, so do all Indians and Pakistanis.
And all Hispanic men do the same.
Oh, and you say you’re Korean? Yeah, all Korean men beat their women too.
Especially when they become Muslim.
It’s not to do with Islam or anything, Islam is a good religion and doesn’t teach this kind of behavior. But I just wanted to warn you, because you’re new to the religion, and people don’t like to tell new Muslims these true things. So, one day ten years from now, you’ll remember that one lady who tried who tried to tell you! And these girls who tried to stop me!
No, these are not my words and thoughts. They’re the real thoughts and feelings of an Arab woman who I don’t know from a bar of soap. Last night, we were sitting in the masjid with a woman who is new to Islam. We were talking about Islamic fundamentals, and then this completely strange person walked into the room. When she found out that this girl is a new Muslim, she launched into the above tirade, and no amount of polite distraction could derail her. At first, I was mildly amused because it was so stupid that all I could do was laugh on the inside…but then when she started telling the girl about her own culture and ethnicity, I had enough. Talk smack about your own culture…but don’t get offensive about another’s. It’s rude. Since when are Muslims are allowed to be rude?!
And don’t tell me, five times, that you’re a Ph.D in Nutrition when you’re clearly far too uninformed for anything but a Ph.D in Numbskullness. Fer cryin’ out loud, woman! *imagine a Southern accent*
I came across this article called The Six Secrets of Sneezing, and found an interesting blog-friendly passage:
How we sneeze could say something about us.
Of all the characteristics that potentially reveal our inner selves, I never thought sneezing could be one of them. However, body language expert Patti Wood says otherwise. She did Benadryl-sponsored study of 547 people and their sneeze habits, coming up with four types of sneezes that she believes are personality indicators.
- The “Correct” carries Kleenex and is careful to cover her mouth when sneezing, meaning she’s respectful of others and likes to maintain a dignified disposition.
- The “Supporter” tends to hold in sneezes rather than risk sneezing on someone, which indicates a quiet and caring character.
- The “Expressive” makes a big production out of sneezing and often sneezes multiple times at once, possibly making her a showy and dominating person.
- The “Driver” sneezes loudly but quickly, making her direct and forward-thinking.
Hmmmmmm….I used to be the second type, the Supporter: I’d hold back a sneeze or a cough till I’m practically choking, just so that I don’t disturb people around me. I don’t know when I had enough of torturing myself, but I’m now more of a “loud but quick” sneezer. The thing is, it’s still kind of embarrassing, no matter how quick I try to wrap it up. How stupid, right, to be embarrassed over an entirely physiological action? Well, anyway, what kind of sneezer are you? Or are you in a category of your own making?
Does the idea of genetically modified food bug you, but you don’t really know what it’s all about or how exactly it is impacting life as we know it? The movie, The Future of Food, found now on hulu.com pulls together information on the patenting and modification of food in a way that is easy to fall. I’m watching this very informative film right now. I’m wondering, if the seed companies like Monsanto can sue farmers for growing plants that literally blew in by the wind, why can’t the farmers sue the companies for trespassing on their properties and violating the sanctity of their crops with the very same seeds? Perhaps it’s because the farmers don’t think in such devious ways…but they damn well should.
If you can watch this movie in your country (don’t know if hulu is restricted to serve only US viewers), then do so. I’m going back to the film now 
Mothers are tricky human beings. You grow up with them, and you think you know everything about them, rarely paying heed when they tell you that the opposite is true: they know you better than you know yourself. Yeah, right, you think, rolling your eyes in futile resistance. After all, you know just what to say to get yourself out of trouble when she’s on a roll; you know just when and how to push the sweet-little-me button when your latest fad looks like it might not be a big hit with the rest of the family. So you think you know it all, and there she is; Allah has given you your very own fairy godmother.
Then, as you start to grow up, you begin noticing things about her. You wonder how you missed that she has a love for cotton candy that would put your need for it to shame. You wonder how it escaped you that sometimes, correcting every mispronounced word she ever utters gets her down. You wonder how it can possibly be that she will make sure that you have the most comfortable shoes for Eid, no matter the cost, even it means that she will not have time (or money!) to hunt down something suitable for herself. All these little things start adding up, and suddenly you realize she is not your fairy godmother, but there is a reason that Rasulullah صل الله عليه و سلم said, “Paradise lies under the feet of your mother.”
People who are intellectually and academically inclined often look at little old ladies (well, not really that old…) who sit around discussing food and clothing in a somewhat demeaning way. They say things like, “How can it be that all they discuss is recipes? Don’t they realize there is a whole world of topics they could be talking about? Like the impoverished people of the villages of Appalachia? And the war-torn region of Abkazia? But no, all they know is food! How boring and empty their heads are! What a waste of their lives!” Well, Miss and Mrs. Academia, you don’t know my mother! She definitely could out-talk you about food (and Appalachia and Abkazia, as well)…and by the time she is done with the topic of food, you’ll be wondering if she has a degree in Food Chemistry. Because, she is one of those women who knows why copper pots are good for some foods, and aluminum pots are better for other foods….while Miss Academia thinks copper pots exist because they look good hanging on a rack above her head in the middle of the kitchen. Let’s just say that, for my mother, copper pots are the farthest thing from status symbols! She can also look at a recipe and predict how badly or how well it will turn out by examining the ratios of the ingredients. In addition to that, when you give her a recipe that is new to you, she can tell you why the baking soda is on the ingredients list, and what will happen if you recklessly omit it. So, the next time you think that food is a topic for intellectually-challenged women, I beg you to keep your ignorance to yourself. As they say, “Better to have everyone think you’re a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!”
On first glance (and maybe second and third, too), my mother gives the impression of being simple-minded. I think it has something to do with the innocent and unassuming look of utter gullibility that she naturally has. Every time we go somewhere, whether it’s shopping, a craft class, or a party, people talk to her in the loud and slow tone that is commonly used for people who might not know English, and who look like they might be from another century. My mother, who normally has quite the temper when she has been wronged, will respond back to them in a way that is polite, calm and cultured–21st century cultured, of course. No Olde English for her, fear not! They will usually be so shocked that she speaks, and in English too!, that they’ll momentarily lose their ability to comprehend English. I always get a little irritated with these people, but my mother will say, “Don’t show these people their stupidity. Let them realize it for themselves. They’re not your family…you don’t have to spell everything out for them!” And then she’ll find a Hadith or Qur’aan aya on the importance of patience and politeness to calm me down properly.
Yesterday, I got another glimpse my mother as more than just my mother, and at the same time, undeniably my mother. She was sorting through the pile of recipes that she obsessively and compulsively has been collecting over the past few decades, wondering which to keep, which she’ll never try ever in her life. She goes through this recipe pruning process once a year, and more often than not, she only disposes of a couple of them. I think the ones she actually gets rid of are the ones where the Xerox machine chopped off a quarter of a page, or something. Then, she came across some recipes for natural homemade skin-care treatments, and turned to me, saying, “I think you’ll like these, here, take them.” And I suddenly saw her as a cosmetics-conscious younger version of me.
It made me flash back to the day when I was 12 years old, and we were walking through a department store. There was a saleslady at one of the many beauty counters, and she managed to get my mother’s attention, telling her, “Would you like me tell you your skin type?” My mom paused for a second, with that quizzical look on her face, and said, “My skin type?” And the lady reached out to my mother’s face, stroked her forefinger across my mom’s nose, forehead, cheeks and chin, and pronounced mother to have “Normal skin!” She then recommended a moisturizer that my mom had already been using all her life, and my mom walked away with a fresh bottle of moisturizer. Which she promptly turned around and handed to me as soon as we got home. At the time, I didn’t make much of it…but yesterday, I felt like my mom actually does understand my own compulsive addiction to all things cosmetics. She doesn’t just tolerate it because she is my mom; she gets it, because she’s a woman, and always has been.
I got to imagining what else is in her head, what other things has she thought, and felt, and wished for, that I have never even imagined. For example, one day, she surprised me by saying that she wants one thing in Jannah: to be able to swim; what would it feel like to be submerged and surrounded by water? We don’t swim, the women in our family, and I never thought it was something worth thinking about, let alone missing. I certainly didn’t think of it in relation to Jannah. Another time, because I don’t eat meat, she said, “You’ll be eating it in Jannah. And fish too. So, it’s ok if you don’t eat here. It’ll be better there, anyway.” Where everyone else usually tries to force it on me or make me feel like a complete weirdo, she found a way to make peace with it. Alhamdulillah.
I could go on with anecdotes that describe the Muslim mother that I’ve been blessed with. Indeed, this blog is peppered with random anecdotes. But there are not enough bytes on WordPress for that. Nor is there enough time, for either you or me. And if there is one thing my mother has taught me, it’s this: Don’t waste your time on things that are futile; it is simply too precious! So, I’ll let you go now, and inshaAllah you can share with me something awesome, amazing, and inspiring from your mother.
Thank you, sis Safiya, for this wonderful idea of reflecting on motherhood. It was a fun exercise, and quite effortless. May Allah bless your journey into motherhood, ameen!
Remember back in the day when we snickered at Bill Clinton for asking the lawyerly question, “But what is is?” Well, today, I wish President Obama would just get it over with and do the same thing with regard to torture. Instead, he is hemming and hawing over, “Was that torture? And if it was, why should we do anything about it?” Is he trying to make us think he’s actually putting some deep thought into this? What deep thought is necessary? When even a Fox News anchor is saying, “We’re America! We’re not supposed to torture!” isn’t it all pretty self-evident ? Meanwhile, our Senate Democratice “leadership” is actually coming out and saying that they are directly opposed to the idea of a torture commision.
Oh, and mad props to Nancy Pelosi for actually wanting an independent Torture Commission. I know, how low have I sunk to actually give a politician props for doing her job? Maybe we could call it the Commission on Harsh Interrogation Techniques that Even Some Soldiers Dislike, for all those squeamish about the T word.
Safiya of Get Outlines will be hosting a blog carnival celebrating Muslim Mommies. If you have something to say about your not-from-a-cookie-cutter mom, or something to say about being a not-so-cookie-cutter-mom, then say it and be read! Sis Safiya will host your blog links (or posts if you don’t have blogs, I believe) on the 25th of April. It would be awesome to read a wide variety of perspectives regarding mothers and motherhood. So, be there, or be square!
In typical form, I only realized yesterday what I want to write for the Carnival, although I’ve known about the event for a few weeks now. Going to get writing tonight, inshaAllah!
