Worthless

You know those days where everything in life, including your own life, seems worthless… That’s how I feel. I can’t be bothered to do anything, cuz I just feel all my efforts will go in vain. During the whole time in class today, I was dead silent in more ways than one. Usually, I either pay attention or tune out and start talking to myself. Today, I did neither. I paid attention, but the words bounced off. only because whatever I do seems to result in the opposite that I hoped for. I don’t feel a sense of closeness to anybody in my real life anymore, and that lonlieness honestly makes me wonder why the heck am I here. If I can’t trust the human next to me who is a Muslim, it feels sometimes so pointless to be in a world where you’re surrounded by humans. Yes, I know it’s a test of my resolve and to see how strong I am. But I feel so weak…that we’ve reached a stage where people can walk into your home to do evil while you shower them with hospitality, and when they don’t get their way they will have the audacity to be rude to you in your own home. May Allah guide us and protect us from those who will harm us and our imaan. Ameen.