What do you do when you’re in a situation where you have to do something you really don’t enjoy? You push yourself towards enjoying it, but no matter what you fail. I know it may be a psychological effect too, once you’re convinced you’re no good at something you really become no good at it. But, I honestly have tried to put my all in it, and I still just find myself banging my head and wanting to cry. Well, if you banged your head, obviously you’d want to cry. lol.
Its seriously aggravating though. I keep doing it because firstly, its expected of me, and secondly, I’ll be treated as though I’m lazy and uncreative if I don’t. There was a time when I really did care about it, but when I did, nobody had the time to teach me. They still don’t, thats why I’m learning it outside the home, which is proving really sucky. The teacher is so busy with the others, that she hardly has time to help me, so I keep fumbling up on my own. I don’t even want to go to the class anymore. Seriously, I feel weak and sick in my stomach. Ah well! Tis for the greater benefit, whatever that is! LOL.