When all else fails…

…talk about marriage!

Jeez, you have no clue how much that bugs me. Its like everything goes dead in your conversation, and what springs up? When do you plan on getting married? For the record, I don’t plan on it. I’ll leave that plan to Allah, thank you very much. You can’t hasten something that is destined to happen, and truly only Allah knows what is best for His creation. Whats the hype about marriage anyway? Everything is made to seem so fairy taleish when we talk about it, but the reality is totally opposite when you actually see your friend’s marriages. Do people realize what a commitment and responsibility it is? Well, I guess they do, cuz I get the question mostly from people who are already married, and I won’t bother analyzing their marriages cuz I’m simply not that bored.

So like logically speaking, why is marriage such a hyped up conversation? Don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing, when both sides fear Allah and act upon the sunnah. Its just that, all conversations don’t need revolve around it. I’m not dissing the light-hearted jokes about getting married ( 😉 ), but the serious (and annoying) hypotethical questions you’re faced with. After a while it gets boring to talk about how you’d feel if your husband married a second wife, or how you’d feel if you couldn’t have children, etc. Obviously such things would hurt, so why dwell on the negatives? Just pray that if Allah forbid we are tested with such a situation, we handle it with sabr.

Now watch, everybody’s so freaked out they’ll avoid even using the word marriage around me for a while. 🙂


About Thê Talkïng Pïnhêad

Just another girl who writes stuff, who thinks the world is screwed up, who believes things can change, who knows it most probably won't.
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11 Responses to When all else fails…

  1. Well sweetheart Some married people that have problems are really envious of those of you that are not married…you know the freedom thing. So as the old saying goes Misery Loves Company.

    And then again those that are happily married probably see that your a wonderful person and just want good for you. See people that are happily married just want to spread the wealth of happiness to others. Love for your brother what you love for yourself.

    Then you just have nosy people that just won’t mind their buisness. I promise though even though I’m married I will never ask you that question okay?. I personally think its rude. I mean if a person like yourself doesn’t want to get married. You obviously have your reasons and people should respect that.

  2. Umm Layth says:

    Hey, I always tell people to get married so maybe I would be one out of your company =p. Seriously, and I like to tell them of the age when I got married and have them flip out and see if that pushes them to get married. But you know like you said marriage isn’t a fairy tale and sometimes I don’t advise certain people to get married because honestly I am scared for them (or maybe scared for their future husbands?).

    I don’t believe one can prepare fully for marriage. Kind of like pregnancy… the various stages prepare you for the final outcome. You must be in it to know it but I do believe that some people are just naturally immature and if they can’t get it together before marriage, then those are the people I usually don’t bring up marriage to. But yeah, I do like positive and I tell people the positive things about marriage but at the same time you always have to tell them the consequences of being for example, arrogant in your marriage.

  3. Jazakallah khair for your comments sisters! You know, actually, when I know the person well enough, talking about anything including marriage is fine. But if I hardly know you, resorting to marriage and trying to encourage me when you don’t know whether that is even the right move for me, is just erm too much! So I think I basically agree with you both. 😉

  4. noora says:

    HEHE…ok i couldnt but laugh..cuz i guess thats always the case when u r a young SINGLE girl or guy…I mean its like everyone is ready to push on that button huh!..I know what u r talking about, I get the same here too…its like THE ONLY THING after graduation is Y Dont U Get married?..its not like im going to go pick him up from the grocery store..when it happens it happens..chill people…SubhanAllah.

    May Allah give us all whats right for us inshAllah 🙂

  5. Ameen! LOL @ “its not like im going to go pick him up from the grocery store” I know! Exactly! And sometimes they even ask you what kind of guy you’re looking for…its like, ummmmmm he’s supposed to look for me, not the reverse! Hello!

    Good post, I think people just really like to bug–or maybe since they probably went through this, its time for payback lool. I hope I don’t end up dishing out this question–if I do, it would be a big signal that I am bored and have nothing better to talk with you about 😡

  6. redenclave says:

    When ever someone I know asks me that question, I’d just reply promptly,”What a stupid question?”. Why must they worry about my well-being. I am happy as I am. I’m not ready to sacrifice the freedom I have and not ready to share half of my life with some dude! Anyway, picking a guy as a potential husband is nothing like picking a dress. One can’t discard him that easily when he is of no longer use! He is there for life, for better, richer or poorer. Richer I hope. Plus, will your hubby still love you after a few years of marriage, the importance question is will you still have the same feelings for him? I can’t answer these questions my self. I am afraid of marriage. Of course, no marriage is perfect but you want a happy marriage & no regrets because it does not only concern your life but those around you as well. You either make or brake it! At the moment, I’m enjoying my singledom, no matter if many have been reminding me that my age is catching up. If I’m destined to build a family I will, all is in the hands of Allah. Insya allah

  7. Mayman says:

    hey fellas, just take my words. all of you would better get married. I can smell frastation in your words.

  8. HBK says:

    So when are you next goin to the grocery store? i mean… getting married? LOL. :mrgreen:

  9. Jazakallah khair for the comments redenclave and noora! 🙂

    Mayman, fellas? We’re girls you know! Anyways, inshaAllah the same for you…

    We don’t do the grocery shopping, HBK. Thats the dude’s job. The dude that can’t find me is defo not the dude I will marry! 🙂

  10. HBK says:

    ^lol then help him find u, he must b looking around for u in the grocery shop. :mrgreen:

  11. sapphire says:

    ^ur makin us sound like some vegetable!!

    Dig J i read this when there were no comments….and thank Allah i wasnt the first to comment!!!

    u guys every tried the answer ”never” and watched the questioners eyes go as big as saucers? until they either catch on or u have to add on tht u were ‘kidding’…

    *remembers to ask Dig J when shes gettin married the next time she talks to her*

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