You know, there are times when we just can’t control our tongues. Sometimes, someone does or says something that just pushes you over that very fine line separating reason, love and common sense from despicable, hateful venom. It can transform a beautiful person, with the most generous heart into raving, red-faced demon who appears to be full of hate!
Have you ever become that demon? What made you realize you went way over the line of good Islamic manners? Did you damage yourself more, or the person who first pushed you over the edge and then became your victim? Chances are great that damage was done to both parties, even when getting angry for a good, Islamically-sound reason. Seriously, damage to a human being’s spirit and esteem is not the worth that moment of wrath.
Please don’t become that person. The one who turns to uttering words that can never be taken back. Damage control after such episodes is often far more difficult than it would have been to have self-control in the first place. Its literally an uphill battle to explain those words away.
In looking for Islamic material on this topic, I found an article at Hizmet books that is short and rather comprehensive. This duaa jumped out at me, and I wish I could have it in Arabic:
Oh my Allah! Give me knowledge ‘Ilm’, decorate me with softness ‘Hilm’, bless me with piety ‘Taqwa’, and make me beautiful through wellness ‘Afiyat’.
When I am overtaken by anger, its sometimes difficult to remove myself from the situation to go and do wudhu to calm myself down. But, I can almost always talk myself through it by asking myself questions: What is going on here? Do I need to respond right now? Is this worth saying something I might potentially at some future date regret? Considering that I have a very flip, very sarcastic tongue, stopping to question myself slows my tongue down considerably. And I really am a happier person now that I am less flippant. (Not that anyone else can really see the difference!)
I can only hope that everyone I have ever vented on can forgive me. I know I can never take back any damage I have done…but I can pray to never cause damage again. InshaAllah!