My arms, legs, and neck have erupted in hives. Hives, for anyone who does not know, are these itchy little rashes that spread over your skin. The more you scratch them, the more they spread, and the more they hurt. The hurt is this intense burning sensation that makes you wish you could disappear to a land with glaciers. It burns so much, you could melt an entire glacier. It literally feels like hell under there. And as I was thinking that particular thought, it occurred to me that if I can’t take this amount of pain and burning, what will the suffering of hell be like? And when I look at my arms, I see this angry, red, mottled-looking flesh that does not look like my smooth familiar skin…which reminds me what my flesh will look like after the agony of jahannam. I hope and pray that Allah forgives me for everything I have ever thought, done, or said because I can’t take this. I won’t be able to handle even a second of Hell. Ya Allah, help me become a real believer and save me from an eternity of this suffering.
Ya Rabbi. I am going crazy. I must scratch! But I can’t…or it will get worse! Ya Rabbi.