Ramadaan, week 1

Oh my, so where has the week gone? It went in a blaze of heat, and allegedly there is a cool-down coming soon. I’ll believe it when I feel it.

In the meantime, there is so much to be thankful for. This Ramadan began with a re-building of familial bridges, and while bridges take a long time to build, and to build strong, inshaAllah at least the process has begun. Bonds may never be the same again, but if Allah Wills it, it might be better than ever. I didn’t dare hope that our relative would reach out, but on the first night of Ramadan, we got that Ramadan Mubarak call. Seeing that name flash on the caller ID screen made my heart speed up, jump out of my throat, and then jump back into my body, all within a second. And then the voice on the other end was normal as ever, like there really were no hard feelings. Then, today, we called, and there was an aloofness in the voice on the other end, but it’s as Allah Wills. He Knows why it’s two steps forward and then one step back. Perhaps this is the reality that is best for us all. Time will tell. Whatever it is, may Allah be Merciful, as He has already been. May He soften hearts, and open eyes, ours included, ameen.

Then, there was a birthday (DigiJ), and cake, of course. We (the bro and I) decided to make a scramble to the mall to buy her a gift, which is not our usual protocol. The poor kid thought we were just going for some errands, and we had to make up some really mean excuse to keep her behind at home. My mom gave her some kitchen work to do, and the sweet thing must have felt so lonely while we were off galavanting at the mall. Well, we kept the gift really small, simple and useful, something she would have bought herself anyway, so there was no birthday bid’a committed and no candles were harmed in the execution of this birthday.

Next, Dad had a blessed visit from some old friends who are really eager to see him retire happily. It was another moment to reflect on how much people can change, and makes me wonder, are first impressions really lasting impressions? Or is there merit to people who make a bad first impression, see you survive that, and then decide to make a better last impression? Nevertheless, first or last, it really is the good deeds which bring a smile to your face that make life happen.

After that, we saw someone seeing the error of her ways. While I’m happy for her, I’m also grateful that she is nowhere near me. I believe in forgiveness, but I also believe in staying the hell away from foolishness, because I can’t yet tell the difference between repentance and manipulation–too much history there for me to sort through. So, repentance is great, and greater when it’s out of my space.

On the fourth day, Praise Allah!, the elliptical machine company’s technician finally came out to see what was wrong with the console of this new machine, which was simply displaying zeros. Turns out, when we assembled the machine, I didn’t clip one wire in all the way. So, I was very happy to not have to take apart the machine ourselves–the dude did in 15 minutes what it would have taken us an hour to do. And it was all on the company. Ahhh, bliss.

Some days, I can’t have more than a vitamin supplement for suhoor, because I am so nauseous at 4:30 am. On those days, I actually feel less hungry during the fast. I guess this is my body’s way of telling me I ate enough the night before. I mean, how much food does a body really need? 🙂

I’ve fallen way behind on my Qur’an translations. I hope to start catching up with it tomorrow, inshaAllah.

Last year, Ramadan felt a little less…Ramadany…to me; I remember being completely out of sorts. To be honest, I was more focused on the presidential elections than anything else. This year, I could hardly care less about the news at all. People tell me this happened, or that happened, and I’m like, “Oh, really?” This zen zone of newslessness won’t last long, I know…but I’m enjoying it while it lasts. So, what have you all been up to? Is Ramadan very Ramadany? Or not? Tell me, amuse me, enlighten me, interest me. I’m looking forward to hearing about it!

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5 Responses to Ramadaan, week 1

  1. To Mamsoo, a belated happy birthday. I pray that you have even more years of happiness and blue.

    As for Ramadhaan, it never feels like Ramadhaan to me. It’s not any different than it was last year. Last year’s school days have now been replaced with work. I was hoping for a workless Ramadhaan, but my employer wouldn’t allow it. Ah well. Life goes on, and so does Ramadhaan.

  2. “no candles were harmed in the execution of this birthday”

    Lol! Happy belated birthday dear mm may all you days be filled with happiness insha’Allah, hope you enjoyed your useful gift 😀

    That was a nice blog post sis DN, not that your other blog posts aren’t great! I just mean I’m glad you are more relaxed these days alhamdulilah, good to know things are better 😀

    Yup Ramadan going by fast! You are right subhana’Allah Ramadan is more Ramadany this year, last year and the one before it were mad my bro was really sick in them but this year much better alhamdulilah. I feel something is missing though like I don’t have enough time like other years.

  3. Hah. I assure you I wasn’t lonely. I was happy that I didn’t have to go out… My brother is sneaky, first he asked me to come to act like I was wanted and actually guilt tripped me!! Then they have my mother make me stay home. The gift was niiice, I’ll post a pic later. Thank you DN. 😉

    Ameen to the duas Ruler and birdy! ❤ ❤

    Alhamdulillah, I'm glad your brother is doing much better this year!! May Allah protect him always and grant him strength.

  4. Carma says:

    What a beautiful post! Looks like you had a great first week of Ramadan 🙂 I really like how you approach touchy subjects (like the family phone call, the retirement guests, the woman who repented) with a peaceful, “let go & let Allah” approach. I just get the feeling that you are not going to let yourself be fooled but you appreciate and are happy for whatever gesture you are getting, and wish them the very best anyway.
    Hope the rest of Ramadan goes well for you. You are right, last year didn’t feel like Ramadan to me either, and I’d heard that from a lot of different people. I wonder why. I thought maybe it had to do with it being in the summer time. but this year it’s still summer, even hotter, and yet I feel Ramadan’s baraka in an infinite number of ways.
    Keep the posts & the pics coming sis!
    xoxo

  5. TRN, Hmmm, it’s not so much about what other stuff is going on that makes it feel like Ramadan; it’s more about the added stuff that does it. Like, tempers are held in check better; the determination to add more ibadah in one’s life; the general inclination to not waste as much time. For each person, it would be different–but there are changes that take place within you during Ramadan that you probably don’t even notice…or will happen once you’re out of school. I know during my undergrad days, all I got out of Ramadan was hungry and really happy.

    realisticbird, Ah, you know, I almost unpublished this post after publishing it, because it seemed so random, with no real point. I’m so glad you liked it! You know, the past few years, my brother was also a bit unwell, and couldn’t even usually go for taraweeh. Alhamdulillah, it’s so good this year to see him go with my dad. May Allah keep our brothers well, ameen! And yeah, the time factor is getting to me, too. I can’t believe how the days end and I still have things I should have done 😦

    Carma, I’m happy you enjoyed it! Re: “I just get the feeling that you are not going to let yourself be fooled but you appreciate and are happy for whatever gesture you are getting, and wish them the very best anyway…” that’s exactly what I’m aiming to include more of in my life. I’ve noticed that trying to control, predict, and hold on to events/people is doing me no good, and just makes me a really pessimistic person. You know, you sparked an idea for a post!

    Thank you, sis, and I hope the rest of your Ramadan is equally Ramadany for you, too. I thought last year’s spirit (or lack of it) was just me being weird. I mean, I went through all the motions: I read my Qur’an more diligently, I was calm…everything had the look of Ramadan; but it just felt weirdly flat. So much so, that I barely remember it. 😕

    *hugs*

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